It has been a while since I last wrote. I could use the excuse of the new house or the start of the school year, but that would be far from the truth. I often find that if I don't think about it and don't write, I can somehow put it out of my mind. However, it never leaves my mind. It is torture some days to just get through. I can imagine that I might feel like widows feel after the loss of a spouse, but I am not a widow. My husband is in a distant land, making his country and me proud. But, while he does this I feel as though a part of me is missing. Brian has been gone for 7 long months and in those 7 months lots of things have changed around here. I went to Greece at the end of the summer and had a wonderful time. I started a new school year, with new responsibilities and new students to take under my wing. I closed on our house and began the process of making it ours. I painted and painted and painted some more. I have yet to finish painting... but it is getting there. I bought new furniture for our living room, furniture that Brian has yet to see, touch or relax on. I refinished the hardwood floors in our downstairs. I have mowed the lawn, raked leaves and soon will clean the gutters. My in-laws have helped a tremendous amount with this and I am forever indebted to them. In the midst of this I started on my CAGS (certificate of advanced graduate studies) in principal leadership. Some may say I am crazy for doing all this - but I say it is the only thing that keeps me sane.
I do all this because I know that my husband is doing something I can never repay him for. He is giving up his days and nights with me and the rest of his family and friends to protect our freedom. What he does no one can ever repay him for. It is because of him that I am free to go shopping, buy a house, work my job and hang with my friends. I know that while I do all that I do, that every minute of his day, he is wishing he can do all that with me.
His hours are long and his battle is tough, and I continue to remain proud of the man I married.
In a few short weeks we will be celebrating the 1 year anniversary of our marriage thousands of miles apart. We will remember the vows we said and continue to live by them. I know that the man I married is coming back to me - and I hopefully only have 8 more months to go!
In the mean time I will survive knowing that he wants to do everything I am doing. I will hold on to the memories we want to create when he gets home and those that we created in the past.
I love you Brian Michael and I am so very proud to be your wife!
